Monday, August 8, 2011

Birthday weekend extravaganza as it was called by L

L told me he was taking the day of my birthday off & we would do something nice. I told him not to bother I just wanted to forget about the whole thing.

On the Friday night he arrived home with these saying Happy Birthday to which I replied my birthday is not till Monday & he informed me it was the start of a birthday weekend extravaganza?!
Friday night - birthday flowers

On Saturday afternoon we went out to our favorite cafe Vanilla Pod and while there he gave me a card to which I replied its not my birthday till Monday!! He wanted me to open it & as he always does it was a beautiful card but a the bottom it said turn over here. There was a colour insert telling me I would need to pack a bag as we would be going away in the morning to spend thenight at Palazzo Versace. This is somewhere I have always wanted to stay & until his awful murder Gianni was my favorite designer & although I could not afford it I was Versace mad! I told him it was too much & we could not afford it but I was told to be quiet & just go along!!

The next day we met his parents for lunch at Omeros Bros at Marina Mirage which I have never been to. I was really happy when I saw photos on the wall showing 2 of my idols had dined there Kylie Minouge & Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell.
Kylie Minogue on wall at Omeros Bros

Goldie & Kurt on wall at Omeros Bros

Lunch was lovely then the embarrassig tradition of having a cake come out & people sing happy birthday happened (I would love to get under the table whenever this happens!!) L had send his Mum the recipe of the peach blossom cake I had admired on Masterchef & she had made it for me!

Masterchef Peach blossom cake made by L's Mum


Leigh gave me another birthday card at lunch with another surprise inside - it was informing me that at 4pm I had to go to the Spa at Versace for a 1 hours body treatment, salt scrub, massage, vichy shower.

Foyer of Palazzo Versace
                                            http://www.palazzoversace.com.au/#/explore-hotel
For those who have never been everything at Palazzo Versace is well versace, the cushions, cups, glasses EVERYTHING!! The hallways in the hotel are lined with gorgeous shots from vintage Versace campaigns & there were many of my favorite supermodel Linda Evangelista.

Linda in the Marilyn Monroe dress

Linda in the safety pin dress that made Liz Hurley famous
The room was gorgeous and overlooked the pool area.......
View from our room

View of room

Part of bathroom & spa
Versace glasses bedside

After a beautiful & relaxing treatment at the spa we just chilled in the room then decided to go grab a snack & headed over to Max Brenner at Mirage next door where for the first time we tried fondue (& loved it!)

Fondue & Souffle

We headed back to the room to find turn down service had happened & oil was burning & this was on the bed!
Lipstick kiss chocolates left by turn down service

We then decided to relax and soak in the spa and have a wonderful nights sleep in a very comfy bed. Breakfast was a buffet the next morning and it was beautiful as they also have a chef there to take ordered so you can have eggs anyway or fresh pancakes etc...  Mmmm lots of piping hot pancakes & strong cappucinos for me it was. Then more time in the room & in the spa.


We then headed over to Mirage as we had not been there properly for years and all the shops were new. I got this lovely pair of silver angel wing earrings from a jeweller there with birthday money from Leigh's parents. Designer website: http://www.vont.com.au/

Then we sadly had to head home. We just relaxed with the cats & L did some decorating with goodies sent to me from my friend in the UK & it was time for more birthday cake this time my favorite, Red Velvet from Vanilla Pod
L's decorating with stuff sent by my friend in the UK

Red Velvet Cake

I am very lucky L is so wonderful & spoiled me rotten in the hopes I would have a nice birthday after such a tough year. It was far nice than my plan of sleeping the day away!


My birthday present to myself

I was dreading my birthday this year, age has never been a big deal to me nor have I ever lied about it but when you are trying everything to have a child getting older is not a good thing. My birthday fell on a Monday & I decided I would take to the bed & sleep for the day & try to miss it & pretend like it never happned.

Late nights & feeling depressed had me online & I decided to treat myself to a birthday present. A new handbag & from a designer I have never purcahsed from before as I only every buy Louis Vuitton or Gwen Stefani's LAMB. Tabitha Bags are by Tabitha Somerset Webb the one half of Dannii Minogues Project D line. Her bags have been successfull for years and carried by many UK & European celebrities (including Dannii). I had looked at the site months ago & loved one bag but with shipping & conversion from pounds it worked out to about $550 & I did not want to pay that for a trial with a new designer.

Popping back one sleepless night I eyed that bag again & this time to my delight it was on sale! Now with shipping form the UK it worked out to $190 - add to basket, checkout, done!! It arrived a few days before my birthday and I decided I may as well open it seeing I knew what it was. The leather is buttery soft and its a great size and has several comaprtments - overall a winner & very happy with my purchase!









Enrique Iglesias & Pitbull 25 July 2011 Brisbane

On Thurs 21 July I got an email from the promoters of Enrique's concert saying they were having a special deal on tickets for 48 hours, pretty much 2 for the price of one. Things have been bleak to say the least & not much fun has been had or money to spare so we both decided for the price it might be good to have night out.

We wanted to go when the tour was announced but due to IVF funds were low so we had to give it a miss.

We got there & the opening act was DJ Havan Brown who did a set then performed her song "We run the night" & got a good atmosphere going.

Next to hit the stage was Pitbull & I had no idea how many of his songs I actually knew & even the ones I didn't I enjoyed & we were on our feet dancing to the latin/cuban grooves - great when you can enjoy the support act!!

Was really looking forward to seeing Enrique & it was a really basic show, he just arrived on stage in jeans, t shirt & baseball cap & ran around & sang his heart out. He sounded fantastic live & pretty much sang every one of his hit songs. We would be up & dancing & decide to have a rest then the next song would start that we would love & up we would get again. No big staging, costume changes or effects. Just a great singer, full of energy singing his songs, looking like he loved every minuteof performing & giving it his all. It was also the first time in ages I was actually having some fun & I guess the endorphins from the dancing helped.

Havana Brown came back on stage & performed Heartbeat with him & to close the show Pitbull joined him for I like it.  Enrique was great & it felt so good for L & I to have some fun again like 'normal' people.

When I find a setlist I will post it as the one he performed out here is different to his overseas shows.

Enrique & Pitbull close the show with I Like it






Monday, May 9, 2011

15 Years ago on this day..........


On the 9th May 1996 I went to a concert that changed my life as the man who took the seat next to me that night was to become the most important person in my life. It was the night I met Leigh. I even thought to myself that night as we were chatting 'wouldn't this be funny if this is the person I am meant to be with and end up marrying - what a way to meet!'

Our first summer together 96/97 & our first of many animal encounters

A week later you sent a rose and a card to my work (I thought you may have done this all the time, just because you seemed so nice that night!!) I called you to thank you and for the next 6 weeks we spoke on the phone and you always asked me out every time and every time I turned you down becuase I knew if I saw you again you would be as nice as you appeared to be on that night and my illusions again would be shattered. After 6 weeks of calls I finally gave in and agreed to go to dinner with you, I knew it would more than likely not go well and I would never see you again and the calls would stop etc... and we could move on.

The day of our date I was so nervous for some reason all I ate that day was a banana, I went to the movies to kill time & distract myself and saw Up close & personal. When you arived to pick me up and I came out to meet you I thought my legs would buckle under me with nerves. I decided on that date I would be very honest about everything, my likes/dislikes, what I wanted from a relationship etc....  I was pretty sure my honesty would put you off but we had a great meal and kept chatting.  On the drive back home you asked me out again to which I said "You want to see me again?" in surprise after all I had said that evening. You told me later you thought that meant I did not want to see you again.

Our 1st anniversary 9 May 1997

You spent all week in Brisbane and me on the Gold Coast, we started talking everynight on the phone and would go out once a week, then twice the following week auntil a few weeks in we were spending as much time together on weekends as we could. I was cautious and thought you were to good to be true, you were patient and proved to me time & time again what a wonderful person you were.

Just minutes after you proposed to me


Feb 14 1998 " now every February you'll be my valentine"


12 years ago today I became your wife. I could not wait to see you and the only nerves I had were about walking down the aisle and being the center of attention. All the months of planning & work we did together for that day just flew by.



We  have been through so much together, some hard & difficult times but also many wonderful times. To this day you are still so supportive & loving and I would not know what to do if you were not a part of my life. As Kelly Clarkson says "My life would suck without you'. I never knew what happiness was until I met you.  You are not just my husband, you are my best friend. I hope & pray the hard stuff we are dealing with at present will result in a happy ending for us. There are not enough words to express how I feel about you - I hope you know.

LA 2005 at The Magic Castle (if it was not for magic we would never have met!)


I will finish by saying what I say to you everyday 'Love you loads' xxxxooooo

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Katy Perry California Dreams Tour May 5,2011 Brisbane

WOW is all I can say about Katy's show, I knew it would be good as I got to see her smaller 2009 Hello Katy tour at The Tivoli and I became a really big fan after that performance.

We headed to merchandise first and I got a programme (some of the most stunning photos I have seen of Katy, printed on beautiful super gloss paper and included stickers & postcards), a lanyard to add to my collection I have hanging in my office and a very cool shirt pictured below.


We then decided to dine at Stars restaurant which had a two course meal for $38.50, I had the roasted snapper with saffron sauce, baked fennell and turned potatos while L and our friends had the chicken breast stuffed with a mushroom mousse and wrapped in pancetta on mash and veg. The desserts were the best I have had in ages, L & I got the banana spring rolls (banna pieces wrapped in pastry, deep fried then rolled in cinnamon & sugar) with caramel sauce and vanilla bean ice cream while the others had a chocolate pyramid on a shortbread base filled with berries & meringue (wish I had taken pics like I have been doing lately).

Support act did nothing for me, I was only there for Katy and could not wait for her to start at 9. The stage was covered in cupcakes & lollypops. The concert started with a little film that had her going on a magical adventure with her cat, Kitty Purry through a fantasy land (kinda like the world of the California Gurls clip). The arena also filled with a cotton candy fragrance & then she burst on stage in a jewelled corset & tutu singing Teenage Dream.

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete

The songs and the costume changes kept coming and every few songs another clip of her adventure was shown. When I saw her in 2009 I was blown away at how very pretty she is in person, even nicer than she appears in her clips. She chats away with the crowd still, just like she did last tour and pulls people up on stage and gets inthe crowd a few times (and gives away several kisses!!) She has a fantastic energy and looks like she loves every minute on stage.

I wanna see your Peacock

Its really hard to pick a favorite part of the show, for entertainment value her performance of Hot N Cold where she makes about 7 costume changes on stage was so cute! Her stripped back version of Thinking of you was just like the last time I saw her. E.T. her current single sounds so good live!
To find a love thats true, you must wear the wig thats blue......


During TGIF (Last Friday night) she asks people via facebook and twitter to send in party pics for her to show on screen during the song and to my surprise 2 of our photos made it to the big screen! Firework means alot to me and I actually cried when she sang it ( I blame all the hormones I am pumped full of at the moment) she even had real fireworks in the performance. Every song worked so well live and I think she should consider releasing her version of Whitney's I wanna dance with somebody.

Fine, Fresh, Fierce.......


The night ended with California Gurls complete with cupcake covered dress & dancing gingerbread men, when the confetti cannons went off she did not just have normal confetti - nope it was heart and lolly shaped!!

Walked out feeling so happy and on such a high, if I can find good tickets I am considering doing something I have never done before and going to the second show when she comes back on the 15th.

Here is the setlist:
Teenage Dream
Hummingbird Heartbeat
Waking Up in Vegas
Ur So Gay
Peacock
I Kissed a Girl
Circle the Drain
E.T.
Pearl
Not Like the Movies
Katy's Jukebox contest - her versions of: Only Girl (In the World)/Big Pimpin',Whip My Hair,Friday
Thinking of You
Hot N Cold
Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)
I Wanna Dance with Somebody
Firework
California Gurls

Friday, April 29, 2011

There will only ever be one Royal Wedding for me...

The world has gone William & Kate crazy but I just can't get into it. Kate is just not that exciting to me, maybe I am just used to her seeing she has been around now for 9 years. I am not going to compare Kate to Diana as that is not something I do with anyone. Like many other legendary figures there will only ever be one Diana.

Here are some of my favorite memories of Diana or Shy Di as she was known. From the minute she as first tagged as a potential girlfriend for Charles she seemed so sweet. Once the engagement was announced I could not get enough and kept every magazine and picture I could find and could not wait till the weeding, I still remember watching it to this day. Apart from manyy bulging scrapbooks I have a beautiful collection of now hard to get books on Diana, as I always used to get the lastest book about her given to me for birthdays & christmas etc... growing up.

I think she will forever be the people's Princess.....

The shy kindy teacher caught unaware, this photo made plenty of headlines

Its official - they are engaged

First official appearance in a daring black evening gown - this outfit made alot of headlines!

Engagement portrait

The Prince & Princess of Wales

Beautiful bride wearing the Spencer tiara

A dress fir for a Princess, Di nodded off at this engagment as she was pregnant with William - we did not know yet!

21st Birthday portrait

The new royal family, Diana's necklace was a gift from Charles to celebrate the birth of William

And Harry completes the family, loved these portraits and really liked Diana with her hair longer


Friday, April 22, 2011

Happy Easter



Just wanting to wish everyone a Happy & safe Easter, enjoy your time off with family & friends. Eat loads of hot cross buns & especially easter eggs!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Depression

Depression and any kind of mental illness for that matter is still today a very misunderstood illness and not one talked about enough.

A story about Catherine Zeta Jones last week receiving treatment for bi-polar reminded me of this fact.


 Anyone who has suffered any type of mental illness will know how debilitating it is and how alone you feel.

When it was first suggested to me back in 1999 that I was suffering depression I did not believe it. They think I am crazy I thought! I was given a referral to a psychiatrist, made an appointment but by the time it rolled around 6 weeks later I was feeling fine and cancelled the appointment (who wanted to talk about things that made them feel sad when you were feeling good). This pattern repeated for several months but each time it got worse and lasted longer. I would find myself driving home from work crying uncontrollably for no reason. I could not concentrate on anything, even things I enjoyed doing, I found it hard to smile, I could not sleep properly & when I did I was plagued by nightmares, I found myself forcing myself to pretend things were ok to the outside world till it got to a day I could not do it anymore.

In early 2000 I changed jobs and had several weeks break between them, I decided I would finally have that psychiatrist appointment. I went in ready to talk about all the things that were troubling me BUT this psychiatrist just shoved a pack of anti depressants at me and told me to come back and see him in about 6 weeks when the medication would be in my system & working (obvious he did not want to talk to an unmedicated crazy person). I left confused and started the anti depressants, by the time I started my new job I was feeling better and thought it was all a phase and I would be ok. The new job was stressful but not more so than previous jobs, it was me that was different and I started finding it hard to cope and harder to pretend that I was ok. I had no one to talk to about how I was feeling. I did not want to worry Leigh and I was too ashamed to tell any of my friends that I was obviously crazy so I just kept it all in.

In April 2000 something had to give, I went 10 days with about 1 hours sleep per day (lack of sleep makes the symptoms of depression far worse) I got up to make it through another day. This day was a relatives birthday party and as I sat at dinner that night I realised I just could not speak to anyone, I could not smile, I could not put on the mask of everything is ok that I had been hiding behind. This freaked me out and I kept going to the ladies room trying to talk myself round. We left and I had another sleepless night and the next day I actually started to have thoughts about killing myself, ending it all so I would not be a burden to anyone else and to make the pain go away. This scared me to death so I confessed all to Leigh and we went up the hospital. When you are scared, confused and have had no sleep a public hospital mental health unit is not the best place! Waiting there to talk to someone I ws surrounded by people talking to themselves, rocking in chairs and doing all kinds of strange things - this scared me to death and I begged Leigh not to leave me there. It was like a real life 'One flew over the cuckoos nest'.  The psych we saw evaluated me and diagnosed me with severe depression and that I needed hospitialisation, the next question was did we have private cover as he suggested a private hospital may be more suitable for me as he could see that I was quite disturbed by seeing the state of the other patients.

Leigh remembered that a colleagues wife had suffered post natal depression and they said the psych they saw was great, so we got his name and went to see him. He had rooms at a private hospital (not a psychiatric hospital) and admitted me for what ended up being a month. It was one of the most difficult and scary times in my whole life. Dr G wanted to get my sleep sorted out, get me on the right medication (like so many things anti depressants are not a one size fits all) and see me for daily therapy sessions. The next 12 months were very tough as besides the depression I was suffereing very bad panic attacks.  I learned that I had actually been suffering depressive episodes on & off since I was 13, untreated they will go away but the longer they go untreated for each time it comes back it gets worse etc.....   It was amazing to find out that periods I had gone through feeling so bad in my life were not normal and that people were not meant to feel that way.  Apart from some family members I told no one why I was in hospital, when I was brave enough to tell 2 friends they were great, but I still was paranoid and thought they would think I was crazy!

A year later and still recovering myself a very good friend of mine became ill herself, we spoke a few times onthe phone and I urged her to get help. A few days later she ended up in a psych ward and got her husband to call me to come & see her. She was in a terrible way as she also had psychosis as well as depression. In her lucid moments she told me I was the only person she wanted to speak to because I was the only person who would understand. I still remember her crying and holding onto me when visitng hours were over that first day, with her psychosis she thought everyone was trying to hurt her, even her husband & in that state I was the only person she felt safe with.  On the drive home I remember saying to Leigh that as much as I hated what I had gone through with depression myself I could on the flipside see a bit of a life lesson. If I had not gone through what I had been through, I would not have understood or been able to be there for my friend.

So before I decided to try and make IVF a non taboo subject, for many years now I have always tried to discuss depression openly.  I made a full recovery and was off medication for several years and then for no real reason I had a bad relapse in late 2007 and was hospitalised again, I even had some ECT treatments (shock therapy). Recovery was quicker than my first go round BUT I am still on a low dose anti depressant and see my psychiatrist every few weeks for a catch up. This is especially important at the moment with the stress of ivf and in dealing with the miscarraiges. I now know the difference between just feeling sad and dealing with emotions as opposed to depression, I know when things are not right and when to get help.

As someone who has suffered myself I always applaud people in the public eye who are brave enough to step forward say they are suffering with mental illness, the more people talk about this the less taboo this subject will become. Some celebrities who have talked openly about their struggles with depressive illness are Ashley Judd, Marie Osmond, Brooke Shields, Emma Thompson, Robin Williams, George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Jim Carrey, Linda Hamilton, Kirsten Dunst, Robbie Williams - the list is endless. I know I put off seeing a Dr and telling people about what was wrong with me for fear of being labelled 'crazy' - so I really admire well known people who are brave enough to share their expereinces. When you are a sufferer of anything it helps to know you are not alone and also that the illness you are suffereing from does not discriminate.


Marilyn Monroe had a family history of mental illness, here she is trying to leave hospital after a stay in the psych ward 

The beautiful Vivien leigh suffered from bi-polar for many years




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